Wednesday, October 14, 2009

One Down & Five To Go



Dear Writer Rejected:


I finished the pages of [Title of Novel] while I was out these past few days. It’s certainly oddly different from anything out there right now, and honestly I think it was a bit off beat for me....I never really got swept into the pages as I was expecting to be especially with the central idea of the [description of central idea]. I really believe this is not for me so I’m going to pass on the project. Thank you so much for sharing the pages with me and I am sure someone else will feel differently and will gravitate to the characters and narrative of your literary novel.


Very warm regards,
Agent with a Biblical name


I knew this guy wasn't going to like my novel.  I'd read some stuff he'd written on a blog, and I could tell that he liked pretty formulaic happy stuff, and my novel is waaaay out there.  I sent it to him on the recommendation of the guy who's been selling me glasses for the last 10 years.  In other words, what I had in common with this agent is fabulous eyewear.  Guess, he didn't see things my way, though....my way is twisted and a weird. Anyway, I've got the novel out with 5 other agents right now, so please keep your fingers crossed for me, and please say a prayer to the literary gods, if you believe in them, and please send me good vibes.  I'm obviously going to need them.

10 comments:

The Rejection Queen said...

Hey at least you got a reason why he passed....kudos on that.

Chazz said...

Good luck with placing it somewhere. Now here's a subversive idea:

The agent was sure someone out there would pick it up and love it and presumably take the ball down the field and rep it. If so, then who gives a shit if you don't "love" it? I was a sales rep for a bunch of publishers. I didn't love everything I sold either. The agent blogs are rife with gurus who want only orgasmic experiences for everything they rep. There's a pretty high standard, and yet the shelves are full of books they "loved" but did not sell through. Hmmm. Maybe they'd make more money if they stooped to conquer. The question shouldn't be, is this going to be one of my top faves of all time? That's for readers to decide. The question is, is it saleable? Whenever an agent says another agent will sell it for you, I think, "Um...are you just yankin' me or are you far too precious and delicate a hothouse flower?" I could rant on, of course, but you get the flavor...

Anonymous said...

You must have something going for you if you can get 6 agents to read your novel simultaneously. Don't they object? What do you say to them to get them interested and what do you say to get them to read it even though so many others have it under consideration? That's a trick I'd like to know.

Anonymous said...

Agents usually read simultaneously. You only give them an exclusive if they demand it, and if they deserve it. In that situation they should also agree to get back to you quickly.

I'm really happy to hear your book is "weird." Yeah, it makes it a harder sell, but you're also more likely to hit it out of the park when you do sell it.

Biblical... hmm... Zebuchadnezzar? Beelzebub?

Noah?

gimme said...

90% of the rejections I get contain some variation on "I'm sure someone ELSE will love it."

I wouldn't take that line literally - it's just part of the standard rejection spiel. If they thought they could sell it, they'd take you on.

Anonymous said...

God

Anonymous said...

Can't.Look.At.That.Picture.

(Waiting for your next post so I don't have to anymore.)

Writer, Rejected said...

It is disgusting....do you think it's real or photoshop? Can't tell.

Anonymous said...

It's the hairy eyebrows that bother me. Couldn't we have photoshopped them?

Anonymous said...

Yes, the only thing wrong with that face is the hairy eyebrows.

I so hope it's a photoshop job. I so hope it's not real. I keep thinking of the Van Morrison song Brown Eyed Girl. This photo is beyond creepy. WAY BEYOND.